Every year, in the week following Cinco de Mayo, God has diarrhea. It always hits him at around the same point in his trip back to the North Pole from Mexico. This point just happens to be the space of cosmos directly over New Jersey. Anyway, some guy discovered this annual phenomenon and decided mankind could benefit from the ingestion of any part of God, even the product of his tequila-induced rotgut. So that’s why every year in the week following May the 5th, an entire year’s supply of yoo-hoo falls to Earth just over the yoo-hoo factory in New Jersey, and that’s also why many people say yoo-hoo is proof that God exists. This also explains why New Jersey does not want to be known for just The Jersey Shore, because God’s shit is way better than human shit, with or without a spray-tan…
Someone please take the computer away from me…. I need real ideas for yoo-hoo ads. Not this.
